Over the years I have tried many different things. I thought I was going to be a successful real estate investor, an amazing artist, the best guitar player, a great network marketer, etc. While I may have had a genuine interest in doing those things, I never did attain the success I thought I would. I found that most of these were simply distractions I was using subconsciously to mask the pain I felt for my “failures”.
Feeling pain and frustration in life is something we all want to avoid. Our successes, our failures, and our beliefs all lead us to view ourselves in a certain way. This is what leads to the identity we see ourselves as. Sometimes we see ourselves for who we really are, and others we see ourselves through a false self.
How To Change Your Life
This false self does not just limit itself to your view of you. It also distorts the way you see the world. In order to have happiness in life you must recognize this false self so that you can then see your real self.
We all at some point get blinded by this false self and think that the way to happiness is something outside of us. Be it love, romance, family, career, money, sex, status, power, approval, kids, or whatever. The reality is that while these may add to our lives, they are not what lead to true happiness. The reason these are not the source of real happiness is because they are also the source of pain at their loss, imaginary or actual.
This false self keeps us from answering the most important question we all have “What is it we truly want in life”? The answer being “An absolute unity with love”. To know ourselves as a whole and complete individual.
The false self creates separation and chaos in our minds, which we then place onto people, events, or other things outside of us. All in an attempt to keep us from knowing our true nature.
Change Your Brain Change Your Life
To identify the false self you need to know who you are, and who you are not. We confuse our identities with 2 things: 1) having what we don’t think we have (love, money, etc) and 2) becoming what we think haven’t become (happy, successful, etc).
Our real self is a being of infinite peace, love, and harmony. Our false self is one of fear, separation, and chaos. This false self is constantly seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
Looking a little further into who we are, we have our thoughts. Thoughts by themselves have no meaning. It is only in our brain that there is good or bad thoughts. Since our real nature exists in a place of pure love and peace all other connotations are created by the false self. This is where good and evil are created, within the minds eye.
Our thoughts create beliefs which we then project outside of us, and in turn it comes back to our mind and reinforces that belief. Since we give our thoughts all their meaning then we are responsible for the reality we create for ourselves. If it is one of pain, and disappointment, that is the reality we chose to create, because that is what we perceived.
Basically what you project is what you believe. Meaning that what you see in others is what you really see in yourself.
Relying on the false self will always lead to suffering as itself by things that are fickle and always subject to change or loss. Our true self defines itself by simply being. Through forgiveness, love, peace, sharing, joy, inspiration and being in the now you can help break the hold of the false self.
You may think that now that you know who your real self is and what you truly want in life that you will attain it soon. While this can be true there sometimes can be set backs in life that keep you from gaining what you want. As I said in the beginning I have done many different things even after I recognized my true self and nature, and still I did not have the success I wanted. Here is why.
Experiences lead to beliefs
If it is our perception that leads to beliefs, it is experiences that give our brain material to filter. These experiences are what our perception creates beliefs from. When negative beliefs are created, and we all have them, they hold us back from attaining what we desire.
So, if you have the desire or goal to be in a great relationship, yet you have the belief that you are worthless, then you will sabotage all opportunities that pass your way. This can be something like, “oh they are to pretty” or “I’m not good looking enough”. Whatever the case is you will push away the very thing you say you want because you do not believe you can have it.
Action step: Get a journal and write down all the experiences you can recall. Write down those that pop to mind as soon as you think of your past. In fact when the word “past” is said, what do you think of? When you have those experiences written down answer these questions for each one:
What does this make me think?
How does it make me feel about myself?
What did I lose because of this?
The answers you get from these questions are the subconscious beliefs you have. Now that you know them you will be able to release them and free yourself from their hold on you. In order to let go of these beliefs write a new one for yourself. This isn’t rocket science, simply write down a positive, uplifting thought that is opposite of the original.
Examples:
Old: I’m no good
New: I’m good enough as I am.
This Is How I Was Able To Change My Life
I remember several key experiences in my life that caused me much pain. As I began to realize who I really am I was able to release these negative thoughts. One such thought “No one wants to see it unless its perfect” has been especially hard for me.
This belief was first perceived at an early age. While I was doing something I was interested in learning someone said something that made me feel shame. Later on someone else laughed, though not directly at me, just about how I looked while doing that same thing. This feeling kept going around with me until I recognized the belief. It is that feeling, that really holds you back. Often times you are not truly aware of the belief, just the feeling that it generates.
Action step: When you feel something other than joy, peace, or happiness, ask “What do I feel”.
Why am I feeling this? This is one of the easiest ways to recognize what the beliefs are that you have.
Keeping a journal or scrap paper handy is also another great way to help figure out what’s bothering you. Many times I will write down my thoughts and feelings when I feel down. This often results in those feelings going away and me feeling happy again.
Books That Will Change Your Life
Another way I have changed my life is by reading. There are many books that are focused on helping improve the lives of others. They come in many areas of life, mental, physical, social, financial, and spiritual.
Take Me To Truth
This book really helped me to understand what perception is and guides me even now to seek enlightenment. Figuring out how to improve your life does not have to take forever, get this book and I promise your life will start changing after reading it.
Killing Sacred Cows
There are many financial myths that this book does a great job in destroying. If you want to know how to improve life financially this will certainly help you do that.
Bank On Yourself
Another financial book that describes a method for saving all the money you would spend on major purchases. Simple ways to change your life do not often create the lasting change we desire. This book will be confusing at first, however the perspective it will give you is far better than the average guru that most people listen to currently.
The Passion Test
This book is great at explaining how to determine your passions. I think our false self has a tendency of distracting us from what really adds joy to our lives with the draw to just earn money regardless of what we like doing.
Prosperity Paradigm
A great guide that combines spiritual, financial and personal interests into one, your own personal Soul Purpose. This book will certainly change your thinking change your life.
Letting Go of Shame
I loved the explanation this book offered for how shame can affect our lives. It discussed in good detail where the shame originated, and effective methods in overcoming shame. Feeling shame does not have to last, overcome it with the help of this book.
Positive Imaging
This is a tremendously powerful book that describes how our minds use images as a means of thinking. These images and the meaning we give to them can benefit or harm your life experience. This is book will change your life and if you read only one you can’t go wrong with it.
A Side Note When Changing Your Life
You will experience resistance while doing this work, especially from within. The false you does not want you to recognize your true self because it wants to stay in control. For you to let go of the false self means the death of it.
Other resistance you may experience could be in your relationships, career, or even regarding yourself physically. These changes that you are going to go through may leave you distanced from those you spend time with now. They may feel threatened, unknowingly to them if they haven’t done this work themselves, and will lash out at you in an attempt to keep this in the status quo.
When this happens remember to show them love. Let them know that you are working on getting to know yourself more. You love and appreciate them and are not attacking them in any way. If you are growing apart then its because your interests have changed. You still are friends, you just don’t wish to spend your own personal time and energy doing the things you used to do.
Conclusion
Change your thoughts change your life. It really can’t be said any better than that. What you think about you bring about. What you FEEL, you also bring about, probably even faster. So, be mindful of your emotions, ask where they come from, and figure out the underlying belief that caused them. Doing these two steps will help you change your life in drastic ways.